fuXion

Wednesday, May 9

How do i...

- disclaimer: another rant post ahead -

I want my actions to speak louder than my words, but I'm not sure how I can when my actions are prohibited, and might even worsen the situation.

Whether you read this anot, please understand that I really do wanna go over, but thinking about not being able to go in, and how you might react to that, makes me abandon that thought. However the urge to help makes me re-pick up these thoughts and think of alternatives, which I have yet been unable to figure. I can't stop thinking about the times when I was ill and you did so much to help me recover yet I can't do anything when you're in pain now. The feeling of helplessness, and that inability to directly intervene, makes me feel very useless.

Then I think about maybe focusing on my work now would put your mind at ease of me worrying, and perhaps ease your burden. But no matter how much I try to distract myself and do work, my thoughts just keep drifting to your pain.

I wish I could. Hope you do understand.
~

Update: Thanks Mother Nature for providing this sudden downpour, maybe I just need to cool down. Waking me up with the sheer heat at 7.30am isn't very polite.

posted by Licheng @ 11:19 AM